The Executive Board and the Board of Trustees of Tree of Life Congregation have approved a formal statement developed by the Interfaith Outreach Committee identifying and clarifying the current practice and policies of this congregation related to interfaith families in our community.
Mission
History
Membership
Definitions of a Household
Categories
Committees
Volunteers
Mailings
Bulletin
Services and Announcements
Baby Naming
Baby Naming Aliyah
Rabbi
Weddings
Employment
Services/Bimah/Aliyah
Kiddush
Misheberach
Cemetery
Religious School
Patrilineal/Matrilineal Descent
Other Committees


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Mission
The mission of the Tree of Life Interfaith Outreach Committee is to identify issues that are of concern to interfaith families and then to seek solutions that reflect the egalitarian and progressive history and philosophy of the congregation.

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History
The original mission of the Tree of Life Interfaith Outreach Committee was to establish how Tree of Life Congregation would identify, address, and interact with the interfaith issues as they relate to the Conservative movement and the Tree of Life community. The committee accomplished this by first identifying the existing practices and policies of the congregation, then recommending new policies and procedures. Finally the Tree of Life Board of Directors adopted these policies and procedures.

Tree of Life Congregation has a long and distinguished history as a progressive, egalitarian Conservative congregation within the Conservative Movement, i.e. one day holiday observances where appropriate, music as an integral part of religious services, women participating in all leadership positions, female cantors, etc.  It was with this established philosophy in mind, and consistent with Tree of Life’s long history, that the Outreach Committee approached the many issues associated with interfaith relationships.

The committee attempted to accomplish its mission without denigrating, or being disrespectful of our tradition. At the same time, the committee always attempted to be sensitive to, and aware of, the many issues that an interfaith relationship has on the family, extended family, Tree of Life, and the extended Jewish community.

The committee soon came to realize that this issue, and our recommendations, could not possibly be explained, or articulated, in one paragraph, or one document. The issue is far too complicated, pervasive, and extensive to explain in simple terms. Many books, essays, Internet searches, and documents were reviewed, and continue to be reviewed and revisited, by the members of the committee in an attempt to understand as many issues and points of view as possible. 

The committee realized that the issue of interfaith relationships will be revisited many more times over the coming years, with many changes and reexaminations taking place. Additionally, this document is in particular consideration of our own unique community and congregation.

As the committee progressed from one meeting to the next we developed a specific philosophy regarding the interfaith issue that is perhaps more liberal than traditional.  At the same time, the committee recognized that a distinction must be made regarding the non-Jew to religious and sacred practices versus those issues that are social and administrative in nature.

The designation of the non-Jew as “K’rov Yisroel”, Friend of the Jewish People, was adopted to denote a designation of respect and welcoming. In the document that follows that is the term that is used wherever possible.

It is further noted that a K’rov Yisroel, being understanding of the religious and sacred nature of many issues, will understand where a line must be drawn in the participation of someone not of the Jewish faith.

The committee recognized the difference between “sacred and religious” responsibilities and privileges, as opposed to “social and administrative” responsibilities and privileges. The committee made the assumption that the K’rov Yisroel will understand, and respect, these distinctions; that there are “sacred and religious” responsibilities and privileges that cannot be accorded to them as being not of the Jewish faith. At the same time, there are many social and administrative responsibilities and privileges that can be conferred upon K’rov Yisroel equally with members of Tree of Life.

It is our intent that the K’rov Yisroel be as much a part of the Tree of Life family as possible!

We have made the book, A PLACE IN THE TENT, available to each Board member and member of Tree of Life to read. This book was and continues to be an invaluable aid to the committee in serving as a guide and organizational tool. It is our hope that it will allow our members and others to further understand the document that follows. Several copies are available in the Tree of Life library.

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Membership
An intermarried couple will be accepted into the Tree of Life community as a family, with the understanding that any children will be raised as Jews, both the Jewish and non-Jewish spouse will be welcomed.  The interfaith couple will have all mailings sent to them and all listings in synagogue publications appear exactly the same as all others in the Tree of Life community. The K’rov Yisroel will have the right to serve on any non-religious committee. The K’rov Yisroel will have the same rights to be considered for a leadership position on those non-religious committees, as all others in the Tree of Life community. The K’rov Yisroel will not be able to serve on the Board of Directors, the Executive Committee, or the Religious Enhancement Committee. They will be able to serve on the School/Education Committee, but will not have a vote on that committee.

The K’rov Yisroel is not, and cannot be, a “member” at this time. Consequently, the K’rov Yisroel cannot vote at congregational meetings.

Note: United Synagogue does not permit non-Jewish membership at this time.
Note: Each family unit has one vote.

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Definitions of a Household: With or Without Children
A: Married couple/gay couple, endogamous (Both Jewish)
B: Married couple/gay couple, intermarried
C: Single, divorced, or widowed Jew
D: Non-Jewish widow/widower of former Jewish member
E: Divorced, formerly intermarried non-Jewish member

Note: Consider “C”, “D”, and “E” above may still have children in religious school.

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Categories
Most of the issues addressed in this document break down into four categories:

1: K’rov Yisroel (Friend of the Jewish People) (Non-Jewish Partner) participation
2: Families and Children Participation
3: Jewish partner participation
4: Rabbi participation

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Committees
What committees and committee leadership positions are open to K’rov Yisroel?

The K’rov Yisroel will have the right to serve on any non-religious committee. (See Membership). They will have the same rights to serve in a leadership capacity on those committees, as any member of the congregation.

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Volunteers
What volunteer activities and positions are open to K’rov Yisroel and their family?

Examples: Working in the various offices, visiting the sick, baking foods in our kitchens, delivering mishloach manot.

All volunteer positions are open to K’rov Yisroel and their family.

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Mailings
Are mailings sent with any distinction or differentiation to and interfaith household?

All mailings will be made without any distinction or differences to all households.

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Bulletin
The addressing of the intermarried couple will be the same as any member, both in the Bulletin and all other congregational listings and publications. Simchas will be acknowledged to all equally in the Tree of Life community.  This includes offspring and intendeds, without regard to religion. In other words, the prospective non-Jewish spouse will be listed in the Bulletin just as any other member of the congregational community. This will include engagement announcements, wedding announcements, births, and deaths. It will extend to the entire family; children, parents, grandparents, and great grandparents, just as it would for any other member of the congregational community.

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Services and Announcement
Is it permissible to announce the birth of a child into an intermarried household at services?"

This is not an issue at this time, as the birth of a child is not announced at our service. The recognition of a child from the bimah is only at a naming.

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Baby Naming
In order for a baby to be named it must be Jewish. Children born to Jewish mothers are Jewish, while children born to a non-Jewish mother are not considered to be Jewish until they have fulfilled certain requirements.

If the male child is born to a non-Jewish mother he is circumcised on the eighth day and given a Hebrew name at that time. At approximately one year of age he is placed in the mikvah, thus completing the initial conversion. The male child is then educated as a Jew and at age 13, he can complete his conversion to Judaism by becoming a Bar Mitzvah.

If a girl child is born to a non-Jewish mother she is named at approximately one week of age, placed in the mikvah at approximately one year of age, then she is educated as a Jew, and at age 13 can complete her conversion by becoming a Bat Mitzvah.

It is understood is that the child, under these circumstances, is being raised and educated as a Jew, and is not simultaneously being raised and educated in another religion.

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Baby Naming Aliyah
In an intermarried household, who can be involved in a baby-naming aliyah in the synagogue, and what restrictions, if any, apply to either parent? 

Both parents come to the bimah, as a family, with their baby. The Jewish spouse should have the aliyah with the non-Jewish spouse beside them, and remain for the naming and misheberach. The non-Jewish spouse cannot recite any of the torah blessings. This is contingent on the understanding that the child will be raised Jewish, and that the child has already begun conversion as stated above. 

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Rabbi
The Outreach Committee clearly recognizes the rabbi as the Mara D’atra of our congregation. It is our hope, however, that our rabbi will always be open to dialogue on the issues addressed in this document, being mindful of the progressive liberal history and established practices of Tree of Life, thus exhibiting flexibility and support toward our efforts.

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Weddings
May the rabbi and/or cantor attend a wedding and/or wedding reception of a Jew and a non-Jew?

A ceremony between a Jew and Non-Jew cannot take place in Tree of Life. Only ceremonies officiated over by our own clergy are permitted. Our rabbi cannot take part in a ceremony between a Jew and non-Jew. Our rabbi cannot attend or take part in any way in the reception following the marriage of a Jew to a non-Jew.

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Employment
May a Jewish partner in intermarriage be employed by the congregation?

The committee feels that this should not be an issue regarding employment at Tree of Life, despite the teshuva by the Committee on Jewish Law and Standards to the contrary.

Conversely, if a Jewish employee marries a non-Jew, or is in a committed relationship with a non-Jew, they should not be in any danger of losing their position. What employment positions are open or closed to K’rov Yisroel and other non-Jews?

All positions of employment are open to non-Jews except teacher, teacher’s aide, school principal, and executive director.

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Services/Bimah/Aliyah
May a K’rov Yisroel stand at the bimah when a Jewish family member is honored with an aliyah to the Torah on one of the following occasions?  A baby naming/adoption, an anniversary, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah of a child, the Shabbat before a wedding?

When an aliyah is for a “family” event the couple or family comes to the bimah as a “family”.

An aliyah given on the Shabbat before a wedding can only be given to a Jewish couple.

When the Jewish spouse is given an “individual” aliyah, as in a regular Shabbat service or during the High Holidays, not as a “family” honor, only the Jewish spouse comes to the bimah.

Should the Jewish spouse of an interfaith marriage have any restrictions accepting or being offered an aliyah?

None whatsoever.     

May a halakhically Jewish person be called for an aliyah using the name of both parents if one of those parents is a K’rov Yisroel? 

Yes, by using the names of Abraham or Sarah for the K’rov Yisroel.

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Kiddush
May an intermarried household sponsor a Kiddush celebrating the birth or adoption of a non-Jewish child?

With the understanding that the child will be raised Jewish, the couple is welcome to sponsor the Kiddush.

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Misheberach
Under what conditions can a misheberach be said?  

There are no restrictions at all for healing. It is after the fact for a wedding and births. This is, generally, decided on a case-by-case basis.

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Cemetery
May a K’rov Yisroel in an intermarried family be buried in Tree of Life's cemetery? May a child under B’nai Mitzvah age be buried in Tree of Life's cemetery? May a non-Jewish child over B’nai Mitzvah age be buried in Tree of Life's cemetery?

The committee is well aware of the concerns regarding burial related to interfaith relationships. These also include concerns relating to widows and widowers in the Tree of Life community who will face decisions related to burial and funeral services.

Note: The Outreach Committee is currently researching and discussing issues relating to burials with the Cemetery Committee and our rabbi. It is our hope and aim to find solutions to the numerous issues. We are looking to inclusive and comprehensive solutions. We realize that the burial deeds (the right to use the parcel of land for a Jewish funeral) currently forbid the burial of a non-Jew in the Tree of Life cemetery and we respect the 130-year commitment to those already buried that Tree of Life as a “Jewish Cemetery”.

May the Rabbi participate in the burial of a K’rov Yisroel, specifically if the burial takes place in another cemetery?

The rabbi may be present for the burial of a K’rov Yisroel in a Jewish cemetery if the K’rov Yisroel did not practice another religion. The rabbi may offer words of comfort or deliver a eulogy. However, this is not possible at Tree of Life cemetery, as only Jews can be buried in our cemetery.

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Religious School
May halakhically non-Jewish children attend religious school? Should they be treated as other family members in the context of the synagogue?

Children under B’nai Mitzvah age, being raised as Jews, not being raised simultaneously in another religion, should be encouraged to attend our religious school. This attendance should be encouraged with or without the prior commitment to have the child convert before B’nai Mitzvah age. Attending a day school of another religion is not a deterrent to attendance at Tree of Life Religious School, provided the primary purpose of attending is for the secular education being provided.

At B’nai Mitzvah age the child must make the decision to complete conversion and become a B'nai Mitzvah.

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Patrilineal/Matrilineal Descent
Can a child of patrilineal lineage become a member of the Jewish faith soon after birth?

Yes, with conversion as stated under “Baby Naming” above.

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Meeting and Discussion with Other Committees
The Outreach Committee realizes that many of the issues addressed in this document relate directly and indirectly with the work of other committees. We look forward to meeting and discussing these issues with them at any time.

Most importantly, the members of the committee encourage feedback and the addressing of any and all concerns of not only our own Tree of Life community relating to these issues, but from our entire community as well.

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